Tick Tock

The time between bended knee and “I do” is as individual as the couple involved.  Similarly, each couple places importance on differing elements of the wedding, which require additional attention and time to plan.  Some brides have mentally planned their dream wedding since childhood and need only to put only to push the button, whilst others have little considered the details and may deliberate over each decision.  Availability of locations and guests can also determine the wedding date and therefore planning lead-time.  Mostly weddings occur between ten and fourteen months following the marriage proposal.  And, whilst time is a luxury, twelve months or more is ideal, By Appointment I have planned grand and detailed weddings in just a few months.  What follows therefore is a suggestive time line, which through experience is effective for a smooth transition from proposal to wedding.

Immediately following engagement

Enjoy the moment!

In addition of 12 months prior to wedding

Consider your preference for wedding style – formal or relaxed, grand-scale or intimate, modern or vintage, glamorous or simple.

Consider your preference for wedding locale – beach, country, overseas.

Determine your preference for religious or non-religious ceremony

Set budget

Hire wedding planner

12 months prior to wedding

Compile guest-list

Source and visit potential locations for ceremony

Source and visit potential locations for reception

12 through 9 months prior to wedding

Select and book location for ceremony

Select and book location for reception

Make and attend appointments at bridal boutiques

Source musicians/performers/talent for ceremony

Source musicians/performers/talent for reception

Source photographers

Source videographers

Source florists

Source caterers

Source bakeries

Order Save-The-Date stationery

9 months prior to wedding

Order wedding dress & bridal accessories

Book musicians/performers/talent for ceremony

Book musicians/performers/talent for ceremony

Book photographer

Book videographer

Book florist

Source stationers

Obtain addresses of guests

Order and send save the date stationery

Make and attend taste tests with caterers

Make and attend taste test with bakeries

Send save-the date stationery

6 months prior to wedding

Order stationery

Book caterers

Order wedding cake

Source make-up artists

Source hair stylists

Select and order bridal party’s outfits and accessories

Plan and book honeymoon

Book hotel for wedding night

Book accommodation for out-of-town guests

Book and attend dance lessons (through 2 weeks prior to wedding)

Book and attend marriage lessons

Register for gifts

6 through 4 months prior to wedding

Meet with marriage officiant and discuss details of ceremony

Select readings/readers

Select music for ceremony

Select play-list for reception

Make and attend trial with make-up artists

Make and attend trial with hair stylists

Source and book transportation

Order rental equipment

Purchase decorative items

Discuss details of menu with caterer

Choose readings for ceremony

Write wedding vows

4 months prior to wedding

Book Make-Up Artist

Book Hair Stylist

Purchase wedding rings

Purchase/order groom’s outfit

Purchase/order groomsmen’s outfits

2 months prior to wedding

Write wedding vows

Schedule rehearsal and rehearsal dinner

Send invitations

Purchase guest book

Obtain marriage license

Compile contact sheet of all suppliers of goods and services

1.5 month prior to wedding

Order program’s/order of service

Order menus

Purchase favours

Purchase bridal/groom’s party gifts

1 month prior to wedding

Compile seating plan

Write/print place-cards and escort cards

Purchase Guest-book

2 weeks prior to wedding

Make and attend final dress fitting

Notify caterer of final guest count

Supply running sheet to all suppliers of goods and services

Supply readings to all readers and advise them to practice

Supply running sheet to all wedding party

Meet with wedding party to advise them of your specific expectations and assigned tasks/roles.

1 week prior to wedding

Collect/receive wedding dress

Contact all suppliers of goods and services to re-confirm times

Contact all wedding party to re-confirm times

Pack for honeymoon

2 through 1 day prior to wedding

Rehearse ceremony

Manicure and pedicure

Rehearsal dinner

Gift wedding parties and / or parents

Prepare tips and payment for suppliers requiring payment on day of wedding

Deliver wedding rings and running schedule to best man

Day of wedding

Relax and savour every moment of this special occasion.

xErika

The written word.

Wedding invitations and everything that accompanies them, from selected recipients, through their design, to the correct address, can cause in-ordinate amounts of unexpected stress.  There is so much conflicting advice on etiquette that is can be very confusing for the bride, groom and their families.  As with every other element of the wedding, most important is that the wedding stationery properly reflects the bride and groom, their style and preferences.  

Invitations are, in my mind, such an important part of the wedding planning process.  For the guest, to receive a wedding invitation in the post is such an honour.  For the Bride and Groom, the invitation provides the first opportunity to project their vision for the wedding and celebrations.

The format for a wedding invitation details who is hosting the wedding, the invitation actual/request, the bride and groom, the date and time, and the location, each on separate line. (The RSVP, reception and dress code may be included, where a separate card is not).  Whilst it is important to include each of these details, the wording, arrangement and design of the invitation allow for personalisation and in my experience create the most impact when they well reflect the bride and groom.

I am a traditionalist at heart and regularly turn to the pages of my most trusted etiquette guides for direction on all manner of current social situations.  And so, personally, I prefer more traditional invitations; and that to the marriage of my husband and I was very formal, reflecting the style of our wedding, but more importantly, also our personalities.

However, other than the main content/format of the invitation, there is no rigidity.  Bride and Grooms are becoming increasingly creative with their invitations, which I admire and applaud.  Certainly there is a trend toward individuality and a more relaxed etiquette.  And so, here follows my guideline for you to consider and adapt to your personal style and preference.

THE INVITATION

• The Host

The hosts names, traditionally the bride’s parents, feature on the first line of the invitation.  However, modern family structures and financial considerations may need to be considered and the host/s credited accordingly.

When the bride’s parents are hosting

The Bride’s parent’s names should be written as:

Mr & Mrs. George Cranbourne

Where the parent’s have different names, they are joined by an ‘and’, the mothers name written first.

Ms. Harriet Whitely and Mr. George Cranbourne

When the groom’s parents are hosting

As above

Where the grooms parents co-host, written after the bride’s parents, joined by and ‘and’ or ‘together with’

Mr & Mrs. George Cranbourne together with Mr & Mrs. Hugh Davidson

Where they are to be mentioned, written after the groom’s name.

Mr.Rupert Davidson, son of Mr & Mrs Hugh Davidson

When the bride and groom are hosting

Miss Emily Cranbourne and Mr. Rupert Davidson

Where the Bride and Groom are co-hosting with other family members or the situation is complicated the family is mentioned, followed by the bride and groom’s names, written as:

Together with their families Miss Emily Cranbourne and Mr. Rupert Davidson

When the parent’s are divorced

The parents names are written individually on separate lines, without an ‘and’, the mother’s name written first.

Where the mother has remarried her married name is used.

Step-parents are traditionally not included.

• The Invitation Actual/Request

The invitation actual features on the line below the host/s name.  Traditionally this is  ‘request’ with wording dependant on whether the wedding is at a place of worship.  On occasion less formal wording is appropriate.

When the wedding is at a church or other place of worship

Request the honour of your presence at the marriage of/at their marriage

When the wedding is at a non-religious place

Request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of/at their marriage

When the wedding is informal

Increasingly couples seek a less formal format for their invitation.  In this instance the host is ‘delighted’ to offer the invitation, written as:

Would be delighted if you would join them to celebrate the marriage of/our marriage

Are/Is delighted to invite

• The bride and groom

The names of the bride and groom follow, each on their own separate line (as they have not yet be joined in matrimony), the bride’s name written first, followed by ‘to’ or ‘and’ the grooms name.

When the brides’ parents are hosting

If the brides surname is the same as her parents’ it is not used.  The brides’ courtesy title of Miss or Ms is not written.

Emily Louise

 to

Mr. Rupert Henry Davidson

When the host is the bride & groom and or other members of their families

Both the bride and grooms names are written in full.

Emily Louise Cranbourne

and

Rupert Henry Davidson

• Date and Time

The date and time are written out in full script, not numerals. The inclusion of ‘on’ and ‘at’ respectively is optional.  The day, month and date appears first.

Saturday December ten

Traditionally the year is not included.  However, for the purposes of memento on occasion the year follows below, written as:

Two thousand and fifteen

The time in full script, is followed by o’clock.

Three o’clock

Where the time is on the half hour

‘Half after’ is used, as opposed to the more colloquial ‘Half past’, written as:

Half after three o’clock

• Location

Traditionally the street address of churches or places of worship are not included, rather the name and suburb/city.

St Mary’s Cathedral,

Sydney

When the ceremony will take place at somewhere less well known

It is appropriate to include the street address, omitting the postcode.

St Mary’s Cathedral

St Mary’s Road

Sydney

When the wedding is informal and both ceremony and reception are at same location

The wedding invitation is traditionally to the ceremony only and includes a separate Reception Card. On occasion, and only when the reception will take place at the same location as the ceremony, the reception details are included on the invitation.

Elanora Country Club

Elanora Heights

Sydney

Reception immediately following the ceremony

ENCLOSURES

All enclosures should co-ordinate in style, be printed in the same method and on the same paper/card.

• Reception Card

Traditionally details of the reception are included on a separate card, enclosed with the invitation.  It is acceptable to include the street address, omitting the city already detailed on the invitation.

Reception

Immediately following the ceremony

Elanora Country Club

154 – 156 Elanora Road

Elanora Heights

When reception includes dinner

Guests should be advised where they are expected to stay for dinner, written as:

Reception and dinner

When all guests are invited to both ceremony and reception

It is appropriate to include the dress code and favour of reply on the reception card, where it will act for both the ceremony and reception.  The dress code features bottom right corner.  The favour of reply features bottom left corner, followed by mailing address, written as:

The favour of a reply is requested

Mr & Mrs George Cranbourne

18 Carrara Road

Vaucluse

Sydney,

NSW, 2030                                                                                                                                 Black tie

• Ceremony Card

Where everyone is invited to the reception, but only an intimate group of family and special friends to the ceremony, the invitation is to the reception with an enclosed Ceremony Card to those invited, written as:

Request the pleasure of your company

• Reply Card

Traditionally a reply card is not included with the invitation.  Rather, a favour of reply is requested on the reception card with guests expected to respond by note.  Increasingly couples choose to include a reply card and self addressed stamped envelope, for guests convenience.  As reply cards are not traditional there is no set wording.  The only requirements are space for guest’s names and indication of whether or not they will attend.

• Attire Card

Attire cards are considerate when the dress code is specific or unusual.  They are particularly helpful when it is necessary to advise guests of any shoe requirements, such as being appropriate for a lawn, sand, or boat-deck.

• Map

On occasion, maps are included with the invitation, for guest’s convenience.  This is particularly courteous for interstate or international guests.  Maps also provide the opportunity for the Bride & Groom to highlight places of interest or personal meaning to them.

• Events

Increasingly wedding celebrations include activities for guests pre and post wedding day. Mostly these include a welcome dinner, various sporting and team bonding activities prior to the wedding and the post wedding breakfast.  Where additional activities are planned for guests, it is most appropriate to include a separate invitation for each activity.

ENVELOPE

The envelope is the first part of the wedding stationery that guests sight and as such should be given sufficient attention. 

The recipient’s title and name should be handwritten in full.  Initials or abbreviations are not appropriate.

When couples are married and have same name

If the wife has taken the husband’s name as is tradition, they are Mr & Mrs followed by the husband’s given names in full, written as:

Mr & Mrs Henry Rafferty.

When couples have different names

The names are joined by ‘and’ the females name written first.

Miss Seraphina Mountbatten and Mr Henry Rafferty

When couples have professional titles

If either partner has a professional title, their name is written first. If both have professional titles the female’s name is written first.

Doctor Seraphina Mountbatten and Doctor Henry Rafferty

When families with children are invited

The parent’s titles and names are written in full on the envelope, with the invitation inside addressed to each member of the family, addressing boys as ‘Master’ and girls as ‘Miss’, written as:

Mr & Mrs Henry Rafferty (envelope)

Mr & Mrs Henry Rafferty and Master George Rafferty (invitation)

When single guests are invited and permitted to bring a partner

The guest's name is written in full on the envelope, with the invitation inside addressed to the recipient ‘and Guest’.

Miss Seraphine Mountbatten (envelope)

Miss Seraphina Mountbatten and Guest (invitation)

Traditionally envelopes are inscribed by a calligrapher, signifying the importance of the invitation contained within.  The recipient’s address on the invitation should be handwritten in full, without abbreviations (Ave. P.O.Box. Appt). Numbers less than 20 should be in script, written as:

Apartment Twelve

54 O’Conell Street

Sydney

NSW 2000

The reverse of the envelope should be printed with the sender’s return address.  Traditionally this is blind embossed, so as not to distract from the invitation as the recipient opens the envelope from the back.

ASSEMBLY

The invitation should be placed on the bottom, print side up. When being used, a sheet of tissue paper can be placed over it. All other enclosures should be stacked on the invitation in order of size, with the smallest on top, ensuring that the reply card is tucked into its envelope’s flap.  The wedding stationery stack should be inserted into the envelope print side up, in order that when the recipient/s open the envelope, they see the front of each piece.

xErika